Weekly Post - Week 3

Behavior

I was about to start this post by commenting that this week was somewhat unremarkable, but maybe that's something in itself. Maybe I've finally been here just long enough that things I'd previously taken as novel, new, different, surprising, or moderately off-putting don't seem so anymore. The other day in the hallway I was passing a more senior male colleague and gave him a slight bow. Then I walked away thinking "what did I just do and WHY did I just do that? I'm almost ashamed of myself." Certain behaviors rub off on you whether you like it or not, especially when you're generally an adaptable person who tries for the most part to blend in.

Stage 1- you watch people behave a certain way and think "that's kind of weird, I'll never do that"

Stage 2- you begin exhibiting said behavior but recognize you're doing it and tell yourself to stop

Stage 3- you've adopted the behavior and don't realize you're doing it

I think with these kind of things it's easier to ride the wave than battle it head on, so I'm fine inadvertently bowing to people, ditching my jeans for dresses and carrying a handkerchief in the summer. However if I start loudly slurping noodles at my desk or claiming my beat up sandals are "indoor shoes" and therefore completely acceptable for the workplace, someone please call me out on it by throwing a glass of cold water on my head. Although it is entirely possible to respect and appreciate the culture you've chosen to be a part of, at the end of the day some aspects just aren't a good fit. :)

Banter

I've also noticed that because I have exactly 1 American friend and she doesn't live close, my English is starting to become peppered with useful vocabulary picked up from the Irish, Aussie, and British network. I'll report back if any of them become permanent fixtures.

Biking

The bike is the best thing ever. So far I've ridden it to the pool twice and to Laura's for dinner. 3 bike rides in one week? That's more than I've ever used a bike in my life! I can't believe how great it is- Laura's house was a mere 12 minute cycle from mine and otherwise I would have had to walk to the station, wait for the train (albeit waiting for a train in Japan consists of 5 minutes max unless it's super early or late), emerge from the station, wander around getting my bearings, etc. It is so much more efficient to ride, and with drivers being slow and safe here I can manage not feeling scared of the crazy driver factor I would have dealt with in SF. Now I really need to buy a helmet since I left mine in Redwood City, although I'll be the only one wearing one: for an uber health and safety conscious society, that mentality doesn't extend to wearing helmets or not smoking a pack a day. This is a culture of fascinating contradictions.

Brouhaha

On a completely different note, I also hosted a housewarming party this weekend and had a ton of fun. I learned that Japanese people will always show up with a gift when you host a party (so sweet! although I maybe could have done without that last bit of sake!), and that it truly is a very rewarding experience hosting a multicultural event. There were people who didn't catch all the English conversation, people who didn't catch all the Japanese conversation, and people who probably understood both quite well. I loved it! Can't wait to host another party :)

And last but not least, this week's pics:

Lest you wonder what I mean by "my office is so Japanese sometimes basic tasks are difficult" I give you exhibit A- my desk phone. Not only from 1975, but all Japanese too. I thought I was living in the future.....huh??

Exhibit B- my inbox. Yeah, can you tell who my emails are from? Right, neither can I. I don't have a pic of Exhibit C, which would be the printer, but stay tuned for a future post.

Housewarming party crew

Approaching the Azabujuban Festival in my neighborhood- does it look crowded? Hmm....

Street blocked off for the festival

Wall to wall bodies at this thing- Elisa and I decided to bail after ten minutes but had to fight our way out of the crowd! 

Braving the crowds

I love Japanese Lanterns!

In typical Japanese style, you can't just walk around, peeps, we have to have order here. Keep left to walk on one side or the other, enforced by this welcoming policeman

And I may call you Goldilocks

Weekly Post - Week 2

I promise to come up with more exciting titles in the not so distant future.

Exciting (or maybe not so exciting but more like noteworthy) things that happened this week:

1. I am the proud owner of a NEW BIKE! 

Well, a new used bike. I had considered getting a cheap bike for running errands, getting where I'm going above ground, and exploring the city, but hadn't taken any real action towards making it happen because as my SF friends know, I'm truly not a biker unless I'm out on a road ride for exercise. I never biked to get where I was going in college, post-college in Virginia, or in SF despite it's claim to be a bike-friendly city (I was always terrified of the traffic!) I hated the idea of arriving places already sweaty, and considered uber a perfectly good alternative to biking. So what changed? Well, I don't really know, but as I have said before and as you are now probably growing tired of hearing, a complete change of environment makes you think, feel, and act differently. I just felt like I needed a bike, and one kind of fell in my lap....

...Last night I was out to dinner with my friends Taeko and Laura, and happened to be perusing the Tokyo Expat Network facebook page (amazing resource if you are reading this from Tokyo, let me know if you want an invite) and noticed a post from a woman selling a good bike for the equivalent of about $65 USD. I casually mentioned it to Laura who was sitting next to me- being Irish and not one to mess around, she quickly grabbed my phone and wrote the seller an email before I could finish my current bite of pizza -yes, I was back at Strada Pizza, because where else would I go?!? ;) We arranged for the bike pick up today at 7pm and lo and behold, I have my first Tokyo standard ladies bike complete with front basket, back carrier, bell, and chain guard. All I need is a baby seat to complete the look and I'd blend in splendidly with the thousands of other Tokyo women toting things around effortlessly on a bike heavier than they are.

Stay tuned for a report in several weeks as to how much use the bike is getting, and what I've decided to name her. Yes, much to my mom's dismay, I'm 33 and never outgrew my pre-teen habit of naming and getting way too attached to inanimate objects.

I will post a pic of said bike next week, by the time I got home it was dark and my pics are really bad.

2. I haven't cried or even felt like crying for an entire week! 

Enough said. :)

3. I made a restaurant reservation in Japanese

Well, OK, I did most of it in Japanese and then when he started explaining that all the tables were booked but we could sit at the counter, blah blah, I understood the message but sadly had no immediate words to respond and de-volved to English. But only for that last part of the chat. I called a restaurant, greeted and asked for a reservation and gave the details in Japanese. I have to be happy about this...

...because my teacher Kyoko-san (have I mentioned what a GEM she is? I really love her) gave me a particle quiz on Wednesday and I think if it were graded I'd have earned somewhere between 60-70% of the points. Ugh. I felt like crying (ah crap, I guess I just negated point two above) - why is this language so hard? But anyway, it gave me a new resolve to study and I spent Thursday night geeking out at my kitchen table figuring out why I went wrong and really trying to understand things. I think (scratch that- I know) I'm being way too hard on myself with this language thing but I just can't get over how debilitated I feel not being able to speak or read, mostly at work. I very often receive emails in Japanese, even from native English speakers, because my company is so domestic that even the second language Japanese speakers have forgotten there may be someone on the email who can't read it and needs a one line English summary. I know people here who have lived in Japan a long time and don't care to learn the language because most places in Tokyo you can get by with English, but that's just not my style. I'm either 110% in or I'm 110% not in. And I'm in. Stay tuned for continuing adventures in Lisa vs Nihongo. I'm supposed to start reading a children's book this week- see pic below, no clue what it is but based on pics it may be about a monkey and a mitten???  God help me, I can only imagine what my fellow Namboku/Ginza line commuters will think of the gaijin girl who's taking 20 minutes to read a single page of simple hiragana about a monkey.

4. I learned it is life-changing to catch up with family and friends

This week I scheduled FaceTime with my brother and sister-in-law (at 9am on Saturday, which shows you how motivated I was!) and my close friend Jenny, who is 8.5 months pregnant- seeing her almost made me cry (Ok point 2 is really in the grave now!) because it was a reminder of what I will be missing, but nothing made me happier this week than seeing her face and my brother and sis-in-law. I also caught up with another good friend who has experience as an expat in Tokyo on Friday evening and it made my day. My point is at this stage I'm still very much attached to my friends back home and as I mentioned a few posts ago, don't you dare think my fab life in Tokyo has me forgetting about you- I wonder every day what you are up to and what you're doing right now. This morning while swimming at Shiba Koen outdoor pool in a 2-lane loop setup with a bunch of grandmas, I would have given my left eye to attend a single Stanford masters workout and could not get the image of that pool and my lanemates and friends out of my head. You may miss me, but I guarantee I miss you more! xx

And a few pics to round out this post....

I have never in my life experienced heat/humidity like they have in Japan- 11pm and it's still 91 degrees with 84% (eighty-four percent!!!) humidity. Shoot me. Maybe the reason I got a bike is because I'm already showing up to every place already sweaty, so what does it matter??

My teacher helpfully gave me a children's book to practice reading hiragana (I'm really slow and sound out words all the time like a kindergartner, Katakana is even worse). She instructed me to read a whole chapter for Monday. I negotiated her down to one page. Come on now! I can't even read the title!

Friday morning at my desk. Tully's coffee in hand. This is right before my Aussie friend Sorin came to visit my desk. Any interaction where I can speak native English is an automatic day-maker. My smile was wider after he left.

Shibuya crossing from inside a cab Saturday night 

Laura and I beating the heat at Shiba Koen swimming pool. I'm post 2k swim and getting yelled at for not keeping right (there were too many grannies on the right side, give me a break!!) We also got reprimanded for putting on SUNSCREEN! Sunscreen is apparently not allowed. We followed suit of the rest of the Japanese at that point and clandestinely put it on while the security/staff guys were not in sight. Japan is thus far the most orderly but illogical place I have ever or ever will live in my life (perspective at 3 months in...)

Next few pics are random shots of Ginza shopping district today

Ginza

Ginza

Super cool DeBeers building in Ginza

Weekly Post- Week 1

I promised a weekly update even if I don't have much to report so here we go!

Work

Whereas last weekend I was in the doldrums of jet-lagged, Japan-is-kicking-my-butt depression and literally had trouble dragging myself off the couch on Saturday afternoon even to eat (and for those who know me, that's really saying something!) this week found a much more well adjusted Lisa starring herself. I was also reminded that when I first moved to SF from Virginia I had similar moments and got through them just fine.

I think this week's accomplishment is a bit of a breakthrough at work. Up until now I have very much felt like I was struggling to establish trust and credibility, unsure of the influence I'm having within my team much less outside of it, and at a bit of a loss how to get myself involved in the right meetings and conversations given I don't speak Japanese (some of these meetings are only held in Japanese). This week, I was genuinely busy almost every day, my lifecycle leader stopped by my desk Monday (could have knocked me over with a feather), a senior leader asked for my feedback, I facilitated a good team meeting where people actually participated in a cross-functional discussion instead of looking around at each other uncertainly, and I got a bit of pushback on a communication channel I'm trying to change. Yes, this last point is a good one, because as I told my dad on the phone this week, if I'm not rattling any chains, I'm not doing what I came here to do. Change is uncomfortable, especially on established teams and especially in this culture.

Am I where I want to be at work? Far from it, but I feel like after 90 days I can finally see the light at the end of the beginner's test tunnel, and I've passed some sort of rite of passage whereby now I might be able to make more of an impact.

Study

This week it was the usual Japanese lessons Monday and Wednesday, where I learned that just when I thought I'd figured out how to use certain particles, I was introduced to new verbs which use different particles for the same objects depending on the scenario, and that there are apparently 5 different words to represent the kanji for "foot." Oh fabulous! But at least this unit included vocabulary for making restaurant reservations and hair appointments, so I'll call it a win. Since I like to keep track, I'll report that I'm on page 97 of a 239 page textbook, which means I'm roughly a bit more than a third of the way through, but feel as though I can say nothing. Well, almost nothing. Not to worry though, my friends who are second language speakers of Japanese and have studied the language for 10 years assured me three months of study is nothing and it's not unusual that I can't say anything yet. Double fab! Just have to keep going...it really is fun to have a project that humbles me, despite my cheeky complaining!

Play

I finally made summer vacation plans, though they're for September and not August. I'll be headed to Jeju Island and Busan in South Korea with my friend Taeko for a week, and then off to the bay area for a good friend's wedding in Tahoe and a chance to reunite with long lost friends there. Bay Area peeps- I'll be around Sep 23-29 and can't wait to see everyone!

The workweek was pretty busy but I did manage to get out for dinner on Wednesday with Laura at Strada Pizza. We got a bottle of wine even though it was a school night because Laura was recovering from what I can only call a complete chop job haircut. ;) But back to the pizza- Yes, it's amazing, authentic Italian style pizza in Japan! I actually have better access to good pizza in my neighborhood here than I did in California, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised because California never did really figure out how to do decent pizza (and now all my west coast friends are offended whereas my PA/NJ/NY peeps know exactly what I'm talking about!)

On Friday after work I went with friends from work to this festival  where I got a really good laugh out of a bunch of cartoony floats suspended from the ceiling in a food hall arcade type thing. Luckily our goal wasn't really the floats but the craft beer store which happened to be in the same area. It was so nice after a long week to be outside (despite the heat!) with a cold beer eating a grilled sausage from a stick and chatting with friends. Of course I succeeded once again in missing the last train home, but this time I was capable to explain to the cab driver where my apartment is. I guess I have learned a few words here and there afterall...or addresses really aren't that hard :)

I still find myself anxious about each work week and look forward to every Friday like it's a precious gift, but I have to keep reminding myself it's a marathon not a sprint, and that time spent in my comfort zone is wasted.

I didn't take too many pictures this week but here are a few since I know no one likes a blog without pics!

Tokyo Tower at night

View from balcony at my apt building

Same pic...

I've grown really tired of drinking Asahi, Sapporo, and Kirin. Thank goodness for craft beer- it does exist in Japan!

It was so hot Friday evening I kept putting my beer bottle to my forehead even though my very opinionated friend Tom claims it's really unattractive. I have to agree with him actually! Don't get me started on the fact that I'm now a lady who carries a handkerchief too...

A Long Overdue Update

Apparently it’s been so long since my last blog post that many people thought I’d given it up. Well, I don’t give up so easily, but I am easily distracted and Tokyo has many distractions to offer. My new goal is to do a weekly post even if all I can manage is a few pictures and a paragraph or two about what I’ve been up to. But don’t hold me to it- you never know when I may get distracted again and I don’t make commitments I can’t keep ;)

It’s hard to capture the past 8 weeks thoroughly in one post so I won’t even try! If you’ve been checking my facebook page somewhat regularly, you’re pretty up to date on what I’ve been doing: enjoying my first karaoke experience, eating my way through the city with friends, climbing Mt Fuji in the rain, continuing Japanese lessons for better or worse, visiting beautiful Hakone, and most importantly, meeting new friends and admittedly missing the last train home a wee bit too frequently in the name of good times.

I mentioned before that being in a new place can give you the courage to do things you wouldn’t normally do, and I find more and more it’s true. If I were a millennial I’d use some corny expression turned acronym, but since I’m not, I’ll just come out and say it really is true that you only live once. Meet friends for drinks at 10pm on a school night at the very bar where Bill Murray and Scarlett Johansson found themselves Lost In Translation? Sure, why not. Never mind that I used to be the girl who went to bed at 9 every night. That’s so Bay Area April 2015, this is Summer in Tokyo!

I am also learning that developing a routine in a new place does not mean you bring your routine with you- rather, you adapt to the routine of your new environment. I work approximately 9-6 with an hour lunch break every day. At home I typically worked 7 or 8 – 4ish. I sleep from 11-7ish instead of from 9-5. I run or swim in the evening instead of the morning even though I swore I’d always be a morning exerciser. I wear tights (or as my mom says they are called, pantyhose, but I don’t like that word!) to work instead of jeans. I eat a largely Japanese diet and have all but become dairy and gluten free without meaning to. (And feel really healthy because of it despite my lack of sleep and late nights out but that’s a topic I won’t delve into) 

Do I miss some of my old routines? Absolutely. I miss swimming during sunrise at Stanford and knowing when I walk into work that I’ve already done something for myself that no amount of work stress can take away. I miss running on the trails at Edgewood and Wunderlich parks on Saturdays. Most of all, I miss my close friends and think of you all the time, even though it looks on facebook like I’m so distracted by my fabulous new life that I couldn’t possibly be wishing I was with you or wondering what you’re doing – there are many moments when I do just that.

Which leads me to what I’ll call the flip side of being courageous and adaptable and doing new things: I am more raw and vulnerable here than I have ever been in my life. I’m 12 weeks in and a few weeks ago the reality of it started sinking in: how long it takes to build the kind of friendships I left behind, how excruciating it is to establish credibility at work and define my role in a new organization and in a culture where the unspoken rules are completely different and foreigners are a relatively new concept, how daunting learning a new language is, how far I truly am from home despite the connections technology facilitates, just to name a few. I have very high highs but also lower lows than usual and look forward to a time when things are a bit more even keel, but I also recognize I’ll be stronger for surviving this initial phase where everything feels magnified. And in the meantime, I am experiencing a world of new things that will forever change my perspective and probably affect the course of my life. I just need to stop being so darn sensitive about it J

Lastly, lest my last paragraph mislead you, let me say with conviction that I absolutely love my life here and I have never for a split second questioned my decision to move to Tokyo. I am meeting other internationally-minded people with shared perspective and life outlook and making friends of many of them. Work is progressing even if I can’t see the impact I wanted right away. I love my apartment and my neighborhood, I LOVE Japanese food, and I even love studying Japanese! (Right, I know, for how long remains to be seen…) My intent with this blog is to be authentic, and that means being vulnerable and sharing my challenges as well as my triumphs. You can go to facebook and see glitzy posts of all the fabulous things I’m doing, foods I’m eating and people I’m meeting. 90% of the time, those posts reflect my experience. But the darker 10% is important too. I wouldn't be real if I didn't share that some days I have a few minutes where I am literally so unsure of myself that I get physically nauseated and need a small chat with myself and to recite a few memory verses to convince myself it will all be OK. This adventure is fabulous in many ways, but it is hard too. My friend Lindsay sent me this article recently and I think it's a great read and more articulately describes a lot of what I am feeling.

Hydrangea ( あじさい) festival with my friend Taeko

Rounding out this post are a lot of pictures with some very informative (and some not-so-informative) captions- enjoy!          

You can take the girl out of California, but don't take away her California wine! Ridge. Tokyo Tower in the background.

The next few pics are random things I photographed while running one day

Start of Mt.Fuji hike- I look dry and warm, but it doesn't last long!

Avalon and I managed to take the wrong route down and along with 3 other gaijins, and spent hours getting back to the official meetup point. A true adventure to say the least. The full Mt.Fuji story requires a post of its' own but words can't do it justice!

Huddled in a hut with Avalon, Belle, and Laura after we made the sane decision to bunk for the night when the temperature dropped to almost freezing with constant wind and rain. The rest of the hikers soon followed suit.

Summit! This was taken at about 530am. The view looks just like the google images of Mt Fuji sunrise, wouldn't you say? ;) Summit closed a few minutes after we took this pic due to high winds. Felt like knives in the face!

Tsukiji Fish Market. 230am arrival, 3 hour wait in the dark, and this pic pretty much captures what it was- a whole lotta frozen tuna!! Worth it? Hell no, but the girls and I were glad we did it in the best of company. Box checked!

Redeeming aspect of Tsukiji fish market: sushi breakfast!

First Yakiniku- you grill your own meat at the table. It's a lot of fun! Just pay attention to your simmering meat, don't do something like get distracted by chatting and char your meat (as my family knows, I NEVER get distracted trying to order or manage food at restaurants or the dinner table! uhhh.....)

Beautiful Hakone- I have to say I was actually really pleased it was rainy for the first few days there- it's easy to appreciate a beautiful place when it's sunny and gorgeous outside, but the fog, drizzle and clouds swirling in and out gave the place a very ethereal feel that I couldn't get enough of. And outdoor onsen in the rain is pretty amazing too.

View of Mt Fuji from the hotel grounds

It finally did clear up in Hakone on my last day

Another example of the truly kind spirit of the Japanese. ANA flight attendants saw me doing kanji worksheets and asked about my story- why was I studying Japanese, etc. I told them I had moved to Tokyo a few months ago and we chatted a bit. They came back a few minutes later with this dessert- I can't even say how touched I was. I might have cried. Because you know, these days, as indicated in my post, I cry at just about everything in my life, good or bad :)

Jet lag robbed me of sleep my first day back in Tokyo after a week in the US for a business trip and my mom's birthday. SO, I was up at 5am taking a picture of this hazy sunrise. Beautiful!

Found a good craft beer place in Roppongi and allowed Avalon to convince me to stay up past my bedtime to sample some hops on Friday evening this week. Good decision!