Welcome Party and Some Humbling Encounters

I am making this a quick post and disregarding my usual self-imposed standard of editing because it's almost 10pm and I need to go to bed :) But I wanted to update on some highlights from this very busy week.

Welcome Party

I had heard that typical Japanese style involves holding a welcome party outside of work for all newcomers. On Friday, my team came through with flying colors on this one. Some people had warned me that the concept of after work drinking is not only required for team bonding, but that it's kind of a free-for-all in terms of behavior, ie you can say anything, do anything, and it will all be forgotten the next morning, even if you express a very candid and controversial opinion to your supervisor or other senior leaders. Seriously! I had been specifically warned that there may be a LOT of drinking and I may be asked inappropriate professional and personal questions. I couldn't imagine my team behaving this way, but I'm in a whole new culture here so what do I know? I was mentally prepared for anything, had an instinct that my team would not go there on our first outing together (but no bets for the second, third, etc!) and was also prepared for the possibility that I was being my usual overly-naive self and it could be a bit of a $hit show afterall.

SO...It turned out to be one of the most fun evenings I've had in a long time and my instinct about my team was correct- no one asked me anything inappropriate or did anything crazy, but the usual office behavior barriers came down and we had a really good time eating, drinking, and getting to know one another in a non-work-sense. Many people have asked me if my colleagues are Japanese or not and I guess I assumed everyone knew but actually it's a good question. Let me be clear: they are ALL Japanese! I am the only foreigner in my department, part of what is very much a domestic company trying to become competitive in a global space.

Part of my role at work is to mentor and coach a more global mindset and skills in clinical trials, but honestly I feel like thus far I have learned way more from my colleagues than they can possibly have learned from me. If I could participate in office chatter, it would be different, but consider that for 8-9 hours per day I sit in a bull-pen style seating arrangement with 100 native Japanese speakers who only revert to English if they have to speak to me or someone from outside the country calls them on their desk phone. It's a humbling, fascinating, and admittedly frustrating experience to listen to that much conversation you can't understand or participate in! So, my Japanese lessons start tomorrow and although I know it will be a long, slow, maddening process, I am determined to start understanding this language if it kills me. Watch this space!

2 people who made me cry

In a good way. I have mentioned before that I have been very humbled by these unassuming, gracious, amazing people. They teach me in their silence and grace. Well, I had two specific encounters this week that I want to relate even if they are a bit more somber.

The first was lunch with a colleague from a different department, a woman probably in her mid-40s. Her English was above average as she takes private lessons and has several language exchange partners, so we were chatting relatively easily over delicious chicken and rice bowls. I have been asking everyone I meet where they go on summer holiday, becasue it's a safe conversation topic and gives me good ideas for places I might like to visit. When I asked this particular colleague where she goes, she started talking about how her mom had a stroke 20 years ago, and as I struggled to connect the dots as she was speaking, a few things dawned on me- she's not married despite being over 40 (I gather this is very unusual in Japan), lives with her parents, and works very early hours so she can leave by 530 every day, all in the name of taking care of her mom and dad. She cooks their meals, does all the shopping, cleaning, and household tasks, and she never goes on summer vacation. The story wouldn't have been significant if she'd told it the way I expected, with a hint of bitterness for what her life has become for reasons beyond her control. But it wasn't like that at all. She was very matter-of-fact, as if she were explaining the reason she couldn't go out this evening is because she had a cold, like this is just the way it is. If your mom has a stroke when you're 25, your life purpose shifts from getting married and having kids of your own to taking care of your mom. No questions, no complaints, this is just what you do. Overall she seemed happy, gracious and genuinely joyful about her life. I was amazed at her willing self-sacrifice and humbled by the thought that if anyone asked half as much of me I might hesitate.

The second encounter was today with a friend of a friend at an ice cream party I went to in Yokohama. This woman, who is my age, lost both of her parents when she was in college, attending school in the US and very far away from home. Even before she mentioned that her parents were gone, I had been so impressed with her positive attitude and zest for life. Then to find out her parents both died when she was so young and she has no siblings, yet is still happy, grateful and optimistic about her future, was beyond humbling and hard to swallow. I was fighting back tears sitting next to her on the train, though I didn't show it for fear she would think I was crazy. Similar to the woman I had lunch with, she wasn't the least bit bitter about her circumstances and mentioned them in passing as if she were talking about something much less consequential.

Maybe these ladies are typical for this culture and I'm reacting as a foreign newbie who will later become numb to their kind of attitude...with regards to the former I suspect I'm right, and to the latter I hope I never see the day. In any case, if nothing else it is infinitely instructive, humbling, and rewarding to be immersed in a culture and a people so different from your own that you're forced to question most of what you know and some of who you are.   




And just because....here are a few recent pics:

Soba noodles with a tempura side.

Tuscan stew ingredients, I'm getting more daring at the grocery store. Uh, the pack on the left turned out to be curry instead of beef boullion, but my facebook friends saved me before I added it to my stew (my nose indicated error as well!)

Finished stew, first time I have cooked without a recipe in my life and it turned out delicious, oishii! Being somewhere new can give you courage to try something you hadn't before.

Food etc.

It's only been 2 full days since my last post, but I have a lot to report! In this post: Food and several other random tidbits.

Foodie Notes

Bear with me while I set some background context :) One of the things I love most about exploring new places is the food. As my close friends and travel mates Ellen and Caro can attest to, we have eaten our way through many a foreign country, prioritizing the day's activities based on where and what we feel like eating, and often abandoning more ambitious plans for the afternoon or evening if our current culinary experience calls for more commitment than we anticipated.

Caro and I in Costa do Sauipe, Brazil

Ellen and I in Lake Como, Italy

Caro and I ate our way through Brazil during a new year's vacation several years ago. Colorful foods and flavors and amazing fresh fish! Our most recent foray was tapas and wine in Barcelona.




Ellen and I read about a restaurant in Rick Steve's Italy guide where they'll pick you up from the town square and bring you to their restaurant in the hills. We took a chance and had one of the best and most memorable meals ever! On our most recent trip to Peru we gorged on Lomo Saltado, sampled guinea pig (actually I think Ellen did and I chickened out) and drank many a pisco sour. I could talk for days about our 2012 Omakase experiences with Andrew the sushi chef at The Dolphin restaurant in Kauai, but I digress...

That said, here are a few pics of my first adventures eating in Tokyo:

Shabu Shabu, a delicious and healthy meal involving cooking your own meat and veggies in a pot of boiling water at your table. Swishing the thinly sliced meat through the water for a few seconds does the trick. Let the veggies stew a while. In the bottom right corner you can see a savory sesame based sauce. 

Lunchtime Shabu Shabu with a colleague

You make this sauce fresh at your table by grinding sesame seeds with a mortar and pestle in a small bowl and adding a pale pinkish orange sauce to the ground seeds. Soy sauce and rice are served as well. You and your dining mate watch out for each other by periodically skimming scum off the surface of your respective sides of the divided water pot using a ladle and ceramic waste crock provided by the server.

Sushi - My friend Sunny and I went to dinner last night at a Japanese restaurant in Akasaka not far from where I'm staying. I've run/walked by it many times thinking I'd like to try it, and when I asked Sunny to choose the restaurant, she randomly chose this one! The bowl on the bottom right contains a traditional Japanese bean substance called Natto along with some salmon roe, fish, and a small egg which I think may have been completely raw and did not come from a hen but some other smaller bird. I had heard Natto was an acquired taste, and one bite convinced me it's true. Not my favorite thing! The sashimi on the rectangular plate in the middle of the table was excellent. I could only identify two of the fish (tuna and yellowfin). We also ate seaweed sheets, a rice and fish - based broth dish that I forget the name of but which will surely appear in a future post so I'll let it go for now, and a cooked thin bone-in fish that seriously challenged my gradually-improving chopstick skills. Then we ordered a second plate of sashimi, because one is never enough :) 

Pizza
 I know what you're thinking- Why did I go to a pizza place in Tokyo? A few reasons: The beauty of a city like Tokyo is that you can get any kind of food. Second, I've found that although I love it, I can only consume so much Japanese food before I start craving something more familiar and need a break from sushi, noodles, rice and meat. Third, Savoy had been recommended by my aforementioned gem of a relocation counselor Namiko. It was very difficult to take a discreet picture in a restaurant with total seating for 13, so you'll have to forgive the quality of my photo. Click on the link a few lines up for another blogger's higher quality photos and review. There's a huge wood fired pizza oven in the far right of the picture, a bowl of sauce and cheese imported from Italy in the bottom left, and not pictured is the Japanese chef who serves up exactly two kinds of pizza- margherita or marinara. Paired with a glass of sapporo or house red, this pizza makes for a quick, comforting, delicious meal in a cozy setting. It's the best pizza I've had outside of Italy.

 And finally, lunch set. There are a myriad of restaurants in the business districts of Japan serving a full meal including soup, salad, sides, entree, drink and tea for a fixed price (Usually about ¥1000, or 8.50 USD) These meals are high quality, quick, delicious, and make lunchtime at the office fun and easy whether you're alone or with colleagues.

I could write for ages about food, but I'm going to switch gears to some random observations.

Other completely random tidbits:

Your IP Address Matters

A lot. My facebook suggested posts and sponsored links are almost all in Japanese and mostly consist of ads for clothing and facial products, with the exception of this morning's rare gem which appears to be a bear/fish cartoon promoting some sort of women's interest (note requisite Japanese clothing ad to the right): 

Office equipment in Japan is not intended for foreign users

The printers and printer software at work are only available in Japanese, so I have memorized the placement and look of the buttons for changing my print options, as well as the buttons on the printer itself for logging in and finishing the print job. I've also learned to recognize the Kanji for "English" and "Japanese" because many webpages initially show up in Japanese but you can change them to English if you know how. (**Note, some websites are intelligent and have the word "English" written in English which makes sense because if I want English obviously I can't read Kanji, but many websites don't, which is sort of mind boggling). Kanji and Katakana characters don't look like words to a Roman-alphabet-trained brain, they look like pictures and very complex ones at that, so I've found that this kind of navigating truly is a spatial memory exercise. 

I can tell I haven't used my brain in this sort of capacity in a while because I actually really love not knowing what the buttons say and navigating by memory- I can very much tell it's engaging my mind in a different way. Yeah, now I really sound crazy, but I'm sure there's some neurological way to explain this that I just can't articulate very well... It's the same feeling I had when playing that simple card game "Memory" as a kid- where you have to remember where the picture of the first bunny is so that when you pick up the second bunny on your next turn, you can make a match and earn points. 

The box even says "No reading required to play" - see tiny print in the far right bottom corner. Copyright Milton Bradley 1980. 





Retire your jeans and t-shirts. Japan dresses for success

Dress matters in Japan. People are generally well groomed, smell good, and wear nice things. Women wear tights every day with their skirts and dresses, even in hot weather. I think jeans are a thing of the past for me, at least when working or going out. I've worn them exactly twice since I got here, for my forays to the pool and back. I've discovered I like dressing up though and that good quality tights are kind of nice- comfy and prevent your legs from sticking together, which may come in handy when the weather turns unbearably hot and humid this summer. Most men wear suits to the office every day, except during summer "COOL BIZ" months when jackets and ties can be left at home due to the oppressive heat. It's neat to walk through the subway every day admiring such a smartly-attired group and observing interesting trends like the completely acceptable practice of wearing tights with open toed sandals (<<this is one I just can't embrace) 

I need to improve my efficiency in blogging

It's 2pm and I've been on the couch for about 4 hours working pretty steadily on this post. Blogging regularly is giving me an appreciation for writers everywhere. It's not easy to capture your thoughts articulately on the first try and it's difficult to pick and choose what you want to talk about when you're on sensory overload and feel like you could word vomit for ten hours straight about everything you're experiencing. It's awesome and frustrating at the same time to know I'll never be able to capture in words everything this experience is, but if there's one thing I've learned from my personal journal-ing over the years it's that it's worth doing anyway. Stick with me while I try to sort myself out and write more succinct posts :)

Sushi For Expats tip:  Tipping is not necessary in Japan and can even be considered insulting. Restaurants, bellmen, and taxi drivers do not expect and in most cases won't even accept a tip. Prices everywhere reflect an inclusion of good service.

First Days of Work

It's 820 and I arrive at work on my second day expecting to find a buzzing office. There are about 7 people in a workstation farm that holds over 100. One of the many things I will learn over the next few days is that my colleagues like to sleep late and work later. The average Japanese employee at my new company works a 10-12 hour day every day. On my very first day I didn't leave the office until 630pm and felt a bit out of place because most people were still there. I felt a bit better after meeting with my manager and other senior leaders who all encouraged me to stick to my "western ways" because they wanted me to set an example and provide them with some commentary about the Japanese working style after a while. Well, I have a few comments now, but I'll save them for later when I have a more reliable sample size :)

Overall my first three days have been great- I couldn't have asked for a more warm welcome or more gracious and accommodating hosts. From the moment I walked in it was obvious they had planned for my arrival very thoughtfully, and the number of people who have offered to help if I come across any trouble is overwhelming. I am truly humbled to be among these amazingly gracious and unassuming people. That extends outside the office, too- to the sushi chefs, waitresses, front desk hosts, hotel clerks, and grocery store checkout ladies I have come in contact with. I challenge you to find a more polite, helpful, genuine group of folks. I am already falling in love with this culture in many ways despite the obvious challenges I face as an outsider.

Now, on to some observations. Perhaps the best way to comment on working in Japan is to juxtapose it with working in California. 

1. Hours - at home I worked 8-430 roughly, with the occasional longer day here and there. The Japanese are at work past 8-9pm most nights, although they don't come in until 9-10ish. That's still a really long day. I have yet to determine if they really need  to work those hours to accomplish their goals or if it's just a cultural thing that they feel the need to collectively work that long and thus are somewhat inefficient. I guess it's kind of obvious where my first impression leans ;)

2. Work From Home policy - This one is really mind blowing. You aren't allowed to take your laptop home from work. Um, excuse me? What about my work from home day? Or my work from home when a delivery is coming? Or my work from home when I need a mental break from people day? Sorry Charlie, Japan has strict labor laws mandating the company control your working hours. So you are welcome to stay at the office and work from 5-10pm, but if you want to go home and work from 5-6, that's not allowed. It defies logic and reduces quality of life for everyone, but that's the way it is. See my previous post about conforming if you want to thrive. I will forever feel that this rule is backwards, but you won't find me trying to circumvent it. **Note- there is some provision that managers, directors, etc are allowed to take laptops home, and if you are on a biz trip, you can take your laptop with you.

3. Japan is The Future, and their technology proves it - I was issued a gorgeous Toshiba laptop which has a touch screen and some kind of video sign in authentication. I have to enter my password on startup, but thereafter throughout the day when I want to sign in I just move my mouse and let the camera do it's work identifying me. I haven't had to call IT because the millennials in the office are so tech savvy and eager to help the new girl that they can and have solved my every problem, most of which were language related. Read Katakana and Kanji, anyone?? I was going to post a picture of my inbox but realized for company privacy reasons I probably shouldn't, especially since I can't read what I'm posting!

4. Garbage Sorting - You have a personal trash can by your desk which you have to empty yourself by carrying it to the trash sorting area and sorting your garbage accordingly into about 5 different bins labeled only in Japanese with confusing pictures. I did mine at 830 this morning so no one could see me shamelessly putting items in the wrong bins. Enough said.

5. Hosting - The Japanese are the best hosts in the world. I have never been more warmly welcomed into any environment in my life. I've had lunch plans every day with no end in sight because every hour someone new approaches me and asks if I'm free for lunch soon. Every single person who has stopped by to make an introduction has offered to help me with just about anything. Most of them are very hesitant in speaking English and very cute when they concentrate hard thinking about how to say something and then look up self consciously at me to see if they messed it up. **Note- many of them do mess it up, but not enough to misconstrue the meaning and let's face it, my Japanese is non-existent. I'm a dumb foreigner who expects everyone to speak my language. **Personal note- Japanese tutoring. 2 hours 2 evenings a week. Starting soon. Game on.

Sushi For Expats tip: The customary greeting in Japan is a bow. The deeper the bow, the greater the sign of respect. The Japanese have this down to an art form and will bow differently depending on the situation and the individual, in a work or social setting. There is no need to shake hands when you meet someone. A slight bow forward as you let your head fall to your chest will suffice as a foreigner, when greeting or taking leave of someone. DO NOT under any circumstance attempt to hug or kiss anyone. Public displays of affection are rare.

Adventures in Grocery Shopping, and a Sunday Swim

Grocery Shopping


What to do on a rainy Saturday in Tokyo? Tackle that grocery list- simple, right? Well, it should be, if you can identify anything in the store. I was conscious there might be some challenge here, but I have to admit I underestimated the situation. Below are two pictures- one shows items I purchased at the local grocery store. The other shows items I purchased after I wised up and went to an international (read: designed for expats with labels in English) store.

Local Store purchases

Expat Store purchases

Below is a picture of YOGURT.

Pretty darn good Yogurt

Wait, is it full fat, reduced fat or fat free? Flavored? Fruit on the bottom? Organic? Greek, Australian creamy or regular? Honestly, I couldn’t have cared less by the time I left the store. It’s amazing how quickly perspective changes in the face of everyday challenges. I spent an hour and a half buying a total of about 15 items. And I shamelessly admit I felt triumphant when I opened the tub the next morning and found that it was actually yogurt. Still not sure of fat content or organic nature. And I still don’t care. :)

One saving grace is that the produce section and wine aisle were blissfully easy to navigate, as you can imagine. Oh, and another thing. At the local stores, you’re on your own for bagging, though in typical helpful and accommodating Japanese style, the clerk will give you plenty of plastic bags with your cart and there are bagging counters set up post-check-out so you can quietly and calmly bag your own items before leaving. It sounds strange but I kind of liked bagging my own things- it was therapeutic in a way to create order among my things after the mind-chaos of the shopping itself.

Swimming

On Sunday I decided it was time to see about a swim. As most of you know, I love the water and grew up as a swimmer but gave up competitive swimming around high school. I was fortunate enough to have a close friend introduce me to US Master’s Swimming a few years ago and since then I have been swimming regularly with the Stanford team. I adore (adore adore) my lane-mates, my coach, the pool, and the fact that Palo Alto’s gorgeous weather graces us with outdoor swimming year-round. There’s something cathartic about moving through the water with the sounds of the world completely drowned out. Nothing matters except this set, this interval, this moment, and how focused you are on your own rhythm. I feel like swimming has given me back a part of myself I didn’t know was missing for a long time, and I was constantly inspired by the challenge of the workouts and the camaraderie of being part of a team. Needless to say, I was more than a bit heartbroken over leaving Stanford Masters and equally determined to find a place to swim in Tokyo.

Well, I found it! There is a coach from the San Francisco Bay area who runs an English speaking program here in Tokyo on Thursday evenings (stay tuned for that report on Friday!), but outside of Thursdays I needed to find a pool to use on my own. I’ll try not to be too detailed here, but the short story is…..First, I arrived at the pool to find that the entry system operates via vending machine ticket. In Japan, it seems to me if you can get it from a vending machine, you will. Why would you talk to a human when a machine can dispense everything from pool passes to pantyhose? I couldn't figure out said machine because it didn't have an English setting, but luckily one of the front desk staff was a super helpful European guy who came over and made the transaction for me.  Next, I ended up abandoning my flip flops outside the locker room door where a few others had done the same, because the number and nature of the many signs instructing me how to handle my shoes were just too much for me to handle. Upon walking out onto the pool deck, (after removing every piece of jewelry including my sports watch and taking a full shower before getting into the pool…yeah, more hyper-hygiene-sensitive requirements!) I was stunned to find every long course lane packed with swimmers. There were signs marking low, medium, and hi speed lanes. In the US most facilities that offer lap swimming are largely deserted. Japan must be bigger on swimming that I realized. I quickly abandoned the idea of doing the workout I had brought and got into the routine of just swimming at a good pace lap after lap for about an hour. 

True to form, I couldn’t escape this experience (or many others thus far in Japan!) without committing some faux pas that can only be a faux pas in a country with rules that defy logic. Tons of pool gear littered the deck so I assumed it was OK to put my water bottle at the end of my lane. We do this all the time at home. After ten minutes of swimming the lifeguard/attendant told me “please, no drink the pool water.” I told him I wasn't drinking the pool water (What the F is going on here?) and looked around at my 8 male Japanese lane-mates waiting for someone to help save me. What is this guy trying to tell me? No such help arrived. Finally the guy picked up my water bottle and said “I take” and pointed behind him. OOOOHHHHHH!!!! Lightbulb! It’s Ok for dirty pool gear that's been molding in a swim bag to sit at the end of the lane, but my dishwasher cleaned water bottle can’t be there. Right. *Sigh* Oh man. I’m just glad he didnt kick me out of the pool. 

There were even more blunders in my pool experience such as allowing water to drip off my body on the wood floor of the locker room (you’re supposed to dry off in the shower room or something) and not putting my ticket back in the machine when leaving (who cares? I’m LEAVING!) but I think you've gotten the highlights at this point. I’ve told the story in a cheeky manner hoping it would entertain you, but the truth is the swim was worth the embarrassment and struggle of navigating the procedures to support it. And now I know how to handle myself next time!    

My only regret over the whole pool experience is that I didn’t buy a monthly pass, because now I have to operate that darn vending machine again J

Stay tuned for my mid-week post on my first days of work. Too exhausted now to stay up any later!

Gorgeous roses in Yoyogi Park

Sushi For Expats tip: I know it’s only been six days since I started my so-called Japanese life, but it is already abundantly clear that this society values conformity. Do not question the logic behind a rule or the authority that created it. To simply survive in Japan is very easy. But to thrive, one must conform.

The Beginning

First Early Morning Run

It's 5:45am on Friday and I've just left my apartment to go for a run (thanks jet lag!). I emerge from my apartment building expecting to find the streets deserted. Surely no one else gets up this early. Walking uphill towards Roppongi crossing, I'm surprised and impressed to see many Japanese people already up, dressed, out and about, making their way down the sidewalks. Wow, they must have a real work ethic here! Do the trains even run this early? (Note: YES) It's not until I notice a man being apprehended by 5 police officers and a gaggle of girls holding each other up as they totter and sway together in really high heels that I realize I've come across the late-night crowd making their way home (well, hopefully). I actually chuckle out loud and continue walking for several blocks even though I'd planned to start running, because the scene is just too amusing to pass by faster than necessary. 2 blocks from Roppongi crossing and just far enough away from the nearest bar or metro entrance the streets truly are completely empty save a few other brave runners making their way towards the path surrounding the Akasaka palace property. For a country basically devoid of meaningful crime, I am surprised to count ten police officers on the way to Akasaka palace and 6-8 armed guards flanking the entrance gates to the estate. In addition to regular police stations, Japan has police "kiosks" at many street corners throughout major cities in case, you know...well, actually I don't. Maybe that will become clear later.

So, by 6:38am when I return to Roppongi crossing, most of the party-goers have left, including previously mentioned belligerent drunk guy. Note: "apprehended" may be a strong term for what I observed. The police officers surrounding the guy were nodding, bowing, and talking in low voices to their subject. It seems the Japanese ideal of being polite in any circumstance may have won out over their right to use more force as law enforcement personnel. It kind of looked more like an intervention or counselling session among friends.

Name Calling - We're not in Kansas Anymore

After my run I went to breakfast at Lauderdale, where I was surprised to find the waitstaff recognized me from my trip in March when I ate breakfast there every day. I love the place because it has a French cafe feel, the waitress is super friendly, and the cappuccinos are to die for. I spent the rest of the day apartment hunting with my relocation counselor Namiko, an absolute gem of a 20-something young lady whose professionalism and maturity put the average American millennial to shame, and to whom I'm supposed to refer as Kase-san since it's very impolite to call anyone by their given name rather than family name. Thus if my mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law and I all went to a party together, we would introduce ourselves as Van Winkle, Van Winkle, Van Winkle, Van Winkle, and yes, you guessed it, Van Winkle. Yeah, all 5 of us go by the same name. HUH?!?? It has yet to become clear to me when given names are actually used. Maybe by one's mom or spouse? How am I supposed to address people in the office on Monday? Is the family name first or last on the business card? Stay tuned for further reports, sure to include embarrassing stories of name calling gone wrong only to be discovered much later because everyone here is way too polite to correct this wayward gaijin.

On tomorrow's docket: adventures in grocery shopping, swimming, and a picnic in Yoyogi park with 50 Tokyo singles. Oh boy!

Sushi for Expats tip: Certain sushi is prepared by brushing the finished bite with soy sauce. In this case, it is not necessary to dip your sushi in additional soy sauce. If you sit at the sushi counter, you can see the sushi chef prepare the fish in this way. My waitress last night, who was another true gem and very chatty, informed me in the same breath that "there are no rules for eating sushi" but "excuse me, you don't need more soy sauce on that one, it is already seasoned with it." Oh. Right, yup. Got it!