Welcome Party and Some Humbling Encounters

I am making this a quick post and disregarding my usual self-imposed standard of editing because it's almost 10pm and I need to go to bed :) But I wanted to update on some highlights from this very busy week.

Welcome Party

I had heard that typical Japanese style involves holding a welcome party outside of work for all newcomers. On Friday, my team came through with flying colors on this one. Some people had warned me that the concept of after work drinking is not only required for team bonding, but that it's kind of a free-for-all in terms of behavior, ie you can say anything, do anything, and it will all be forgotten the next morning, even if you express a very candid and controversial opinion to your supervisor or other senior leaders. Seriously! I had been specifically warned that there may be a LOT of drinking and I may be asked inappropriate professional and personal questions. I couldn't imagine my team behaving this way, but I'm in a whole new culture here so what do I know? I was mentally prepared for anything, had an instinct that my team would not go there on our first outing together (but no bets for the second, third, etc!) and was also prepared for the possibility that I was being my usual overly-naive self and it could be a bit of a $hit show afterall.

SO...It turned out to be one of the most fun evenings I've had in a long time and my instinct about my team was correct- no one asked me anything inappropriate or did anything crazy, but the usual office behavior barriers came down and we had a really good time eating, drinking, and getting to know one another in a non-work-sense. Many people have asked me if my colleagues are Japanese or not and I guess I assumed everyone knew but actually it's a good question. Let me be clear: they are ALL Japanese! I am the only foreigner in my department, part of what is very much a domestic company trying to become competitive in a global space.

Part of my role at work is to mentor and coach a more global mindset and skills in clinical trials, but honestly I feel like thus far I have learned way more from my colleagues than they can possibly have learned from me. If I could participate in office chatter, it would be different, but consider that for 8-9 hours per day I sit in a bull-pen style seating arrangement with 100 native Japanese speakers who only revert to English if they have to speak to me or someone from outside the country calls them on their desk phone. It's a humbling, fascinating, and admittedly frustrating experience to listen to that much conversation you can't understand or participate in! So, my Japanese lessons start tomorrow and although I know it will be a long, slow, maddening process, I am determined to start understanding this language if it kills me. Watch this space!

2 people who made me cry

In a good way. I have mentioned before that I have been very humbled by these unassuming, gracious, amazing people. They teach me in their silence and grace. Well, I had two specific encounters this week that I want to relate even if they are a bit more somber.

The first was lunch with a colleague from a different department, a woman probably in her mid-40s. Her English was above average as she takes private lessons and has several language exchange partners, so we were chatting relatively easily over delicious chicken and rice bowls. I have been asking everyone I meet where they go on summer holiday, becasue it's a safe conversation topic and gives me good ideas for places I might like to visit. When I asked this particular colleague where she goes, she started talking about how her mom had a stroke 20 years ago, and as I struggled to connect the dots as she was speaking, a few things dawned on me- she's not married despite being over 40 (I gather this is very unusual in Japan), lives with her parents, and works very early hours so she can leave by 530 every day, all in the name of taking care of her mom and dad. She cooks their meals, does all the shopping, cleaning, and household tasks, and she never goes on summer vacation. The story wouldn't have been significant if she'd told it the way I expected, with a hint of bitterness for what her life has become for reasons beyond her control. But it wasn't like that at all. She was very matter-of-fact, as if she were explaining the reason she couldn't go out this evening is because she had a cold, like this is just the way it is. If your mom has a stroke when you're 25, your life purpose shifts from getting married and having kids of your own to taking care of your mom. No questions, no complaints, this is just what you do. Overall she seemed happy, gracious and genuinely joyful about her life. I was amazed at her willing self-sacrifice and humbled by the thought that if anyone asked half as much of me I might hesitate.

The second encounter was today with a friend of a friend at an ice cream party I went to in Yokohama. This woman, who is my age, lost both of her parents when she was in college, attending school in the US and very far away from home. Even before she mentioned that her parents were gone, I had been so impressed with her positive attitude and zest for life. Then to find out her parents both died when she was so young and she has no siblings, yet is still happy, grateful and optimistic about her future, was beyond humbling and hard to swallow. I was fighting back tears sitting next to her on the train, though I didn't show it for fear she would think I was crazy. Similar to the woman I had lunch with, she wasn't the least bit bitter about her circumstances and mentioned them in passing as if she were talking about something much less consequential.

Maybe these ladies are typical for this culture and I'm reacting as a foreign newbie who will later become numb to their kind of attitude...with regards to the former I suspect I'm right, and to the latter I hope I never see the day. In any case, if nothing else it is infinitely instructive, humbling, and rewarding to be immersed in a culture and a people so different from your own that you're forced to question most of what you know and some of who you are.   




And just because....here are a few recent pics:

Soba noodles with a tempura side.

Tuscan stew ingredients, I'm getting more daring at the grocery store. Uh, the pack on the left turned out to be curry instead of beef boullion, but my facebook friends saved me before I added it to my stew (my nose indicated error as well!)

Finished stew, first time I have cooked without a recipe in my life and it turned out delicious, oishii! Being somewhere new can give you courage to try something you hadn't before.